"She’s an aspect of my personality that is more subterranean, subconscious, and witchy– a seductive, strange character. She’s kind of me, experimenting with Diane Arbus’ New York photography or Cindy Sherman playing with her visual sub-personalities. I also love David Lynch and was inspired by Paris is Burning— a documentary about early vogue-ing and drag queens of New York in the ‘80s. I dressed up and took pictures of [Pearl] and had her in my sketchbook, but it wasn’t really a calculated thing– more unconscious." -Natasha KhanLove that I can watch a live video. And am having way too much fun on vimeo and should really stop and write the speech for the presentation I am giving at 9am. No surprise that the brand orientation was cancelled for the tenth consecutive time. After some radio recording which was good fun, I am about to get cracking. Be back before the end of the night. If everything sounds disconnected it's because I write in bits through-out the day and finally decided to explain all the disjointedness. The plant I have been keeping under my desk has officially died but am reluctant to throw it away. Like everything hey?
Have finally had the chance to write to Risk, and it was good just to spill the beans on everything to her once again, she's been missing out on so much. We both have, really. And like she said,with some things in our personal lives it's hard to catch up because so much happens in between, everything really. She wrote to me something I'd like to share, " I know you have had bad experiences from judgmental eyes, but it’s only limiting your capability to live life to the fullest. God doesn’t want us to live a fearful life and of all things, be afraid of what others may think? Okay, may be that’s easier said than done, but on a more worldly and practical way of doing this, if anyone is thinking negatively of you, that person probably isn’t worth your attention. Those who truly care about who you are will support you and love you unconditionally, definitely would not judge you, no matter how silly some decisions you make may seem. I, for one will be right behind you (not literally since I’m so damn far away). Just step out with faith!" Thing is Risk has been around since before I converted or changed for that matter. She was around when I was scared, lost, confused and almost out and over. She didn't know me that well back then, but we must have known we'd be kindred souls, even then. There are days, like today when I eat lunch at my desk alone that I wish she were still sat at the desk beside me. Still constructing fake board-walls so I'd feel safe in my new spots, and still finding everything that was funny about every situation we found ourselves in working on the same account. She'll be back in July and I'm sure another Wendy's session and sleepover will be in order.
