"Through it all, Smith Rakoff's characters — the sometimes cock-sure, sometimes appealing, often annoying but always earnest bright young things who, like so many before and since, stake it all on New York — remain deeply human. For a brief time, they live the whirligig feeling of endless potential. That glorious sense of anything-goes disappears for them, as it did for so many, when terrorists take out the Twin Towers. That devastating upheaval makes this a novel of manners that matters." -Joanna SmithIn a mess, asked God to stop the rain for Garrick's shoot going on in the city, and of course He did. I've asked to take things slow, I've asked a million things, and am taking things as slowly as humanely possible. Am not sure I have the mental capacity for more. Readers, am thinking the concept of this blog has been coming through if you've been enjoying tasting this for the past year. And before my anniversary, I am proud to have posted no party, fashion or travel pictures, have reported no current issues or trends, and shall continue in this way for as long as amuses my readers and myself. If you know me, you'll know that what with twitter and my tumblr and Facebook there is far too much going on already. I wonder if the girl at Shu Umera is still reading because I like how she does my brows in a painless way.
This morning at the gym a personal trainer slid up to say hey beautiful and offer his services free of charge; may pass this onto Patches. Watched an old episode of Friends as I ran 'uphill' today. Think I'm no longer Rachel, and more Phoebe than I ever thought I would be.
So the EP, can I be a braggart yet? Or is it always too soon because I insist on praying about everything. Especially dating a Catholic. Will I be shunned and will they say I am disobedient, when God has never left my side since His rescue. Got into a long discussion with the guy that works at the Christian bookstore. He showed me books about Catholicism that they have 'hidden' away because they are deemed 'controversial'. We rifled through them and he explained doctrine and rituals, idols and differences in faith. Am taking a poll which is swinging in my favour as suspected, but am really going to read up on it by myself. Garrick must think I'm as crazy as I think he is. All this talk about religion when it should be less about that, and more about God.
James has been calling most nights since the turn. He asked me in depth about my conversion, and what it really felt like. So I shared again, and as always it made me cry. It's a story that made me realise why I can't move without God, I owe far too much in gratitude for saving me, from what I used to be. I don't know if he understands more than intellectually, but he said he's going to open up his heart and wait for God to speak to him. I think he's feeling out of options. And I honestly don't know what else to do for him but pray. Must begin to detach a little bit more. We are have been stuck like glue over the past few months living in different cities but the fast friends we now are. He said he'd be happy to be my best friend, if nothing more. I couldn't have asked for more. Um people it's 10pm...and now it's 12 noon.
Evie came into my room this morning and jumped onto my bed, as I stirred awake. We had pancakes for breakfast and caught up on her flight and the house is full of sound again. Diaz left an email on my phone this morning that was about a dream he'd had the night before, "That I went to visit you. That you lived in a big house with a pool garden and wide open spaces. Looking back at it, I guess I miss the simplicity of loving someone so much and being absolutely sure about it. Now I wonder, why can't I find that again when I try so hard..." Wrote back to him at my desk this morning. Saying that he would, given time. But it's true, we didn't know how simple we had it back then, because so sure about everything we were together. The streets of London at night, and his bedroom full of smoke and electronic music, and lots and lots of writing. I guess the fact that both of us have ended up as Copywriters in advertising says a lot about us too. But I wish I could have kept things simple as they were back then with him, I wish we hadn't messed things up for the rest of our lives. He struggles finding someone to love, or even being able to love one girl for long enough, and here I am doing more or less the same thing. He does this to me through email, sporadically.
